


Stay

by Xelaric_the_Nobody



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cutting, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Like its really really slow I'm sorry friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2956793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xelaric_the_Nobody/pseuds/Xelaric_the_Nobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me?"</p><p>Sugawara Koushi didn't let anything bother him too much anymore. Sawamura Daichi on the other hand...he was a different case. But could anyone really blame him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is my first Haikyuu fic and I'm really excited to write this. Just to warn anyone, there will be triggers later on in the story, so read at your own risk please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mix for you to listen to why reading! <3 : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNPkItOfPzA8b8HFqMGiqbo6b7pei_vWs

It was definitely not going his way whatsoever this week.

All Sugawara Koushi could ask for was one restful night of sleep, but he couldn't even have that. Between staying up late to study for exams and not being able to sleep in the first place, he barely got enough sleep as it was. But now this? The fire alarm screaming against his eardrums at nearly two o'clock in the morning? He just couldn't catch a break.

At first, Koushi dismissed the noise as his alarm clock. He tried finding the snooze button with his eyes closed, but gave up after a few tries and rolled over onto his other side. When the alarm didn't stop ringing, Koushi slowly brought himself into a sitting position. That's when he smelled smoke.

All in one moment, he was alert, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Koushi glanced at his clock. 1:47 a.m. He suppressed a sigh of disappointment. Well, there goes his once peaceful night of sleep.

Hastily, the college sophomore jammed his feet into his slippers, drew his quilt around his shoulders, and calmly exited his apartment. Luckily, he lived on the first floor and wouldn't have to worry about tripping down the stairs with his blanket cloak.

Koushi made it outside, but immediately wished this was all a dream. The chilly wind nipped at his bare face, and the student drew his blanket closer around him. Although this didn't help, Koushi continued to walk away from the warmth of the apartment building. When he glanced over his shoulder once he was a good distance away, Koushi saw the orange-red light of flames in the wing adjacent to his building. Sirens wailed softly under the noise of all the alarms going off in the building. Sleepy families and other college students alike congregated a good ten yards or so away from the building. Koushi meandered through the sea of people and made his way to the back of the group. Catching on fire was not something he wanted to add to his list of bad luck.

As soon as he stopped moving, the cold seemed relentless and moved in to attack the bare skin of Koushi's face and exposed neck. A chill ran up his spine. Oh, how he wished this was just a bad dream and was still laying in his warm bed.

At least he had a blanket. As he looked around, the sophomore caught glances of people in barely anything more than tank tops and sweats with bare feet. He was about to move toward a family to offer his blanket to the two little girls that clung close to their parents, but Koushi heard a few colorful choice words tumble out of a man's mouth not too far away from him.

Koushi turned to get a look at him. He was tall and well-muscled, his biceps taut when he folded his arms across his broad chest. His hair was black, and his eyes were a rich, dark brown. He looked no older than Koushi himself, and he bounced on the balls of his feet in an effort to warm himself up. Garbled strands of curses rolled off his tongue at alarming speeds because he was standing in nearly freezing weather only wearing a t-shirt and boxers. No slippers, no socks, no sweatshirt. Koushi felt really bad for the guy. So, he shuffled over to him, already shrugging off the blanket that hung across his shoulders.

Koushi lightly tapped the man on the shoulder. He whipped his head around so fast that he thought this guy was going to snap his neck. Startled just a bit, Koushi took a precautionary step backwards. After realizing that Koushi wasn't going to laugh at him for being utterly ridiculous for not preparing for the cold, his tense shoulders dropped a little.

"You, uh, look cold." Nice way to start, Koushi inwardly rolled his eyes at himself. "You can have my blanket if you want."

The man blinked, dumbfounded, at Koushi. He started to protest, but Koushi had already draped the quilt across his shoulders. Almost on instinct, the man burrowed into it, happy that he finally had warmth. He mumbled a thank you. Koushi smiled lightheartedly and folded his arms across his rather small chest.

Not even two minutes later, the dark haired man sighed. "Now I feel bad that I took your blanket because now you look cold." The man looked at Koushi, then narrowed his eyes. "You look very familiar, you know..."

"Well, we do live in the same apartment building," Koushi teased. "Maybe you saw me in the laundry room or—"

"Not like that, I mean I think I've seen you somewhere else other than the apartment building." He scrunched up his eyebrows in thought. "I just can't put my finger on it."

The man stood there staring, his brows still furrowed, at Koushi. His staring didn't seem to bother the latter too much. He made to say something as if he had finally thought of where he had seen him before, but he kept quiet. It was then that Koushi found this guy vaguely familiar.

"Aren't you in my language arts class? With Takeda-sensei?" the man in front of Koushi said at last. Koushi's face lit up in recognition. A smile tugged at his lips.

"Oh, yeah! That's why you look familiar," Koushi agreed. "But, I, uh...I don't remember your name." He grinned sheepishly as his hand went to the back of his neck.

"Daichi. Sawamura Daichi," the man smiled. "And you're...Sugawara, aren't you? Koushi?"

"Yep," Koushi smiled up at him. "Everyone calls me Suga, though, so you could call me that if you'd like to."

In the pale light of the moon, the sophomore could've sworn that Daichi's face was turning the slightest shade of red. "Uh, right. Y-you can call me Daichi."

Suga elbowed him lightly, slowly forgetting how cold he was. "Sounds like a plan."

The two of them chatted for another fifteen to twenty minutes or so before the fire department arrived. It turned out Daichi's major was criminal justice with a minor in psychology. Suga had told him in turn that he was majoring in psychology and that his minor was sociology. The former was surprised that they had not shared their psychology class, but with it being Koushi's major, they figured he was lumped together with the other psychology majors.

Their conversation was cut short when the firemen confirmed that it was okay to go inside. They had pulled one family aside—Suga guessed it was their apartment that had caught fire—and they started to make arrangements for the family. When Koushi started to move, it was only then that he realized just how cold he was. He hugged himself and rubbed his arms in an attempt to warm up, but to no avail. Daichi noticed that he was shivering, and abruptly stopped after realizing he still had his fellow student's quilt wrapped around his broad shoulders. He let out a pretty unmanly squeak of embarrassment. Hastily, he shrugged off the quilt and haphazardly hung it across Suga's slender shoulders.

"Oh, wow, uh...sorry about that," Daichi sputtered as he sheepishly grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. "Almost forgot I had it on me."

Koushi waved his apology off and simply smiled again. "Really, it's no big deal, Daichi-san. You looked freezing when I got out here. It was the least I could do."

The duo had already, without realizing it, made it into the building. Cranky people pushed their way around them, and it was a minute or so before everyone was respectively in their apartments. Everyone except the two of them.

Daichi was the first to break eye contact. "I guess I'll see you around then, Suga-san?"

"I hope so," the silver-haired sophomore grinned. He really hoped that didn't sound too flirty. Would Daichi think it was flirty? Suddenly, he felt his face burn.

Yeah, he definitely thought it was flirty. The raven haired man blinked, dumbfounded, at Koushi. He swallowed before choking out a goodnight to him and dashed up the flight of stairs behind him. When he was out of sight, Koushi buried his burning face in his hands, mumbling to himself about how stupid it was to flirt with other guys.

It wasn't like he'd never flirted with other guys before. Oh, he had done plenty of that, and it was downright embarrassing when he had found out that the other was straight, or taken by someone else. Others had teased him about his sexuality towards the end of middle school and the beginning of high school. But Koushi had somehow not been brought down by any of the frequent name calling and bullying. He was over it all by now and couldn't care less about what anyone had to say about his love life. Most of his friends were just like him in the sense that they weren't really attracted to the opposite gender.

By the time he had made it back to his apartment, it was nearly three in the morning. Koushi wrapped himself up in his blanket, much like a one of those rolled up fruit snacks, and flopped down in his bed. But sleep didn't come to him for another hour or so. Koushi's mind was buzzing with the thought of the raven haired man that he had met. It wasn't until an hour before he had to wake up that he fell into a restless sleep.

*****

Daichi woke up the following morning to an annoying pop song playing from his alarm clock. He lazily swiped in the general direction of it and managed to knock it off his nightstand. With a groan, the college sophomore sat up, his lidded eyes only half open, and shut the damned thing off. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, the raven haired man unsteadily rose to his feet and proceeded to get ready for class.

By the time he was showered and dressed, he realized that he was running a bit late. If he didn't leave now, he would surely be late to his first lecture of the day. It was either eat breakfast and be late to class or eat something later and just barely make it to class. Daichi went with the latter, promising himself that he would have a nice, filling lunch later between his language arts class and psychology.

That's when he remembered that he would be seeing Sugawara later.

Daichi's heart skipped in his chest as he remembered the other's smiling face. He had been a complete and utter mess around him, and he had wanted to so badly crawl into a corner when he stumbled over his words in their conversation earlier that morning. While he locked his door, he hit his head on it just a few times, muttering "stupid, stupid, stupid" to himself before hurrying down a flight of stairs. He could not—would not—be late to his lecture, being only a month into classes.

Campus was only a few blocks away, so he decided to walk that day. The fresh morning air helped to clear up any fog that had shrouded his mind, and he hummed quietly to himself.

When he turned the corner that lead to the campus of Karasuno University, he caught sight of the smiling faces of both Tanaka and Nishinoya. The latter was energetically waving at him, and Daichi rolled his eyes playfully. He wondered how this kid had so much vigor in the morning.

"Hello, Daichi-san!" Tanaka shouted and could possibly be heard from the next city over. Daichi walked up to the two of them and bid them good morning. The trio walked the rest of the way to the front entrance, chatting about their weekend and other small things.

"Did you hear that the Karasuno High School volleyball club is doing terrible this year?" Noya inquired from the raven haired man's right. "Boy, I'm sure glad we didn't go to Karasuno, other wise Kuroo would never let us hear the end of it."

Daichi scoffed. "You're not too far off." The three of them had graduated from a completely different high school a few towns over. Kuroo, another friend of theirs, had graduated from Karasuno High's rival school, Nekoma. Kuroo had been captain in his third year, and he seemed to think he had never left his position even after he graduated. Kuroo returned to the school frequently to see how everything was going and to see the new members that had joined since his departure.

The two freshmen on either side of Daichi continued to blabber on about the recent match of Karasuno versus Aobajousai. He had kind of tuned them out as soon as they entered the building. Daichi blinked as if to clear his vision when he caught sight of wispy, ash grey hair. His eyes traveled downward the slightest bit to lock with hazel eyes and a beauty mark. Swallowing hard, Daichi watched as the pair of eyes crinkled at the corners and realized Suga was beaming at him, giving him a wave in a brief greeting. The raven haired man stared, suddenly aware that his face was burning despite the cool draft in the hall. What should he do? Wave back? Smile?

His thought process was cut short when Suga turned the corner. Oh, how stupid Daichi probably looked just standing there and staring at him. Now he wanted to go hid his face for the next hour or so.

He felt an elbow poke at his ribs. "So, Daichi, who was that?" Daichi turned to stare into the smirking face of Nishinoya. He wanted to say a few different things at once, such as Why do you care? and Probably the prettiest human being I've ever been blessed to meet and Just some guy I met. But, of course since he was an oaf, he let out an unintelligent sounding noise while his brain tried to process what was the best thing to say.

Nishinoya and Tanaka shared a look before bursting into laughter. Now he really wanted to hide his face. Maybe even for a day. Or a week. Yeah, a week sounded okay to Daichi.

After their laughter had died down, Tanaka clapped Daichi on the shoulder as they continued in the general direction of their lecture halls. "Seriously, man, who was he? I don't remember him from high school."

"Because he didn't go to our high school," Daichi managed to spit out. "He-I met him the other day. He lives in the same apartment building I do."

Before either of them could ask him anymore questions, Daichi caught sight of his lecture hall. He joviantly bid them farewell, eager to get away from their pestering. Without acknowledging their calling him, he closed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Asahi! Hah but yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoaaa guys really sorry about not updating this! School is a mega pain in the ass, as I'm sure you're all aware of. But I hope to get this going again.
> 
> I'm just gonna shut up and let you guys read k byeee

Daichi prayed to whatever god resided above his head to get him to somehow focus.

There he sat, towards the back of the language arts lecture hall. Tapping his pen furiously against his desk and with his chin resting in his palm, he stared at the back of Suga's head. Takeda, the professor, was going through a powerpoint of notes, but the words didn't reach Daichi's ears. He just sat there and stared and stared. He just wanted Sugawara to turn around, just a little bit, so that he could so that smile of his again.

Oh God, was he in deep. When had Daichi met him? The other day? He groaned and slammed his forehead on the desk much harder than he had intended. Half the class turned to look at him, but Daichi didn't care. He just wanted to not be such a nerd and walk straight up to Sugawara Koushi and ask him if he wanted to hang out one time, maybe. If only language arts wasn't so God damn long. All the raven haired college student could do was continue to stare at the back of the head of ash blond hair.

"Day dreaming again, eh Sawamura?" Daichi heard a whisper from his right. He jumped and turned to look at the glowering face of Michimiya Yui. She quirked an eyebrow as if to say "Seriously, Daichi?" Before he could respond, Takeda had dismissed them for the day. Yui slid her notes over to Daichi.

"Give them back to me tomorrow," she rolled her eyes, but a smile tugged at her lips. "And promise me you'll start paying attention in class, alright?" Daichi nodded, words of thanks tumbling from his mouth. Michimiya stood to leave. Daichi gathered his books, as well as Michimiya's notebook, and started to make his way towards the door. A light tap on his shoulder stopped him, however. He turned to lock his eyes with those of Sugawara. He nearly tripped over his own feet.

"H-hey Suga." His voice cracked and oh, how he wanted to bash his head into the nearest wall. Suga tried to muffle a quiet giggle behind his hand, but it didn't really work all that well. Daichi could feel his face burn from the edges of his neck to the tips of his ears.

"Sorry, sorry," Suga calmed himself, and he waved his hand in dismissal at his laughter. "I just wanted to ask if you would like to have lunch with Asahi and I." Suga motioned to his much taller friend at his side. The guy was tall, well built, and had the expression identical to that of a scared third grader. His long brown hair was tied back, and a headband kept back loose strands. Asahi smiled shakily and gave Daichi a small wave. He seemed virtually harmless. Daichi liked him already.

"Uh, yeah, I'd love to," Daichi recovered himself. Tanaka and Noya would be wondering where he was during their break, but he didn't really care about that right now.

Suga beamed back at him, his hazel eyes crinkling at the corners again. Daichi was pretty sure his brain short-circuited. "Great! Let's get going, or else there won't be anything good left over."

******

Once the trio had found a table to eat at, the three sophomores sat down and chatted. Koushi was happy that Asahi was talking to someone other than him, and it was nice to know more about Daichi.

"So, Asahi-san." The brunet visibly flinched when Daichi addressed him. "What's your major? Or what are you planning on doing when you finish school?"

Asahi looked to Koushi for a moment before turning to the raven haired sophomore. "I'm m-majoring in literature. I really would like to become an elementary school teacher."

"Really?" Daichi asked. Suga was surprised to hear that his tone of voice wasn't condescending, which was what someone's voice would've usually sounded like when they heard that answer. Instead, he sound pleasantly surprised. Koushi was pretty sure Daichi had picked up on Asahi's shyness and was trying to get him more involved in the conversation.

"I think you'd make a pretty good elementary school teacher," He nudged the brunet, who tensed the slightest bit. He looked to Koushi again, but the ash blond only smiled encouragingly.

"Daichi!" Suga heard a shout from a little ways away. Daichi's shoulders slumped as he rolled his eyes. He muttered something under his breath about "his dumbass friends". Footsteps could be heard coming their way, and the raven haired man slumped in his seat. Koushi looked to Daichi for an explanation, but before he could open his mouth, two freshmen came up from behind Daichi and started to pester him to no end.

"Daichi where have you been?" the shorter of the two asked as he poked Daichi's face. "We thought you died!" The taller of the two then continued to pester him with more questions. Daichi swatted at the both of them and turned to give them what was possibly the freakiest look Koushi had ever seen.

"I swear to God, you two—" He cut himself off as his eyes followed his friends' gaze to both himself and Asahi. Daichi's face first went pale, but managed to turn a shade of pink when the taller friend with the shaved head asked, "Ah, so that's the guy you've been flirting with, Daichi?" and motioned to none other than Koushi. The ash blond at first just blinked at him, but managed to laugh as Daichi turned an even darker shade of pink.

"Suga, Asahi-san, this is my friend Tanaka Ryuunosuke and that's—"

"Nishinoya Yuu!" the shorter of Daichi's friends had somehow gotten over to Asahi and stuck his hand out in greeting. Tanaka, Daichi, and Suga all turned to look at Noya and Asahi. Koushi felt his stomach flip and knot. This was not going to end well. Asahi never liked to be put on the spot, never liked to be around too many people at once. Koushi was trying his best to help him with his social anxiety, but nothing he tried was working. They had made very little progress, but not enough progress for Asahi to feel comfortable in a situation like this.

The brunet's eyes flashed between Nishinoya and Koushi. The ash blond tried to tell him through his eyes that it was alright, to go ahead and introduce himself to the energetic freshman. Koushi could tell that Nishinoya was very bad at reading people and situations as he bounced on the balls of his feet just slightly. He tried retracting and sticking his hand back out again, waiting to get a reaction from the brunet in front of him. Asahi's face had gone pale, and Koushi inhaled, bracing himself for the impending panic to burst from his friend.

Suddenly, Asahi jumped to his feet, unable to look at anyone. "I'm s-sorry, I have t-to go." And like that, Asahi quickly left the lunch hall. Nishinoya stared after him, a hurt look on his face. He turned to look at the other three people at the table.

"Did I do something?" he asked. Tanaka shrugged because he obviously didn't know, and Daichi was shaking his head at Noya, clearly frustrated with him. Koushi tapped his arm lightly.

"Asahi gets nervous around new people is all," he said, and Noya perked up in surprise. He started to ramble, asking if he should go after him an apologize, saying he didn't know, he didn't know—

"You obviously can't read situations very well." Daichi interrupted Noya. "I don't even know him, and I picked up on it. Think before you jump into things, Yuu."

Nishinoya and Daichi had a silent stare down, and Koushi was pretty sure he could cut their tension with a knife, it was so thick. He stood up and held out his hands. "Hey, c'mon guys. Nishinoya-san didn't know, it's not his fault. I can apologize to Asahi for him later, it's not big deal." The raven haired sophomore broke his gaze with Noya and looked to Suga. He seemed to relax a bit. He checked his watch. Cursing under his breath again, he stood up, rounding up his garbage on his tray.

"If I don't high tail it to the lecturing hall, I'm going to be late. I'll see you guys later." With a final glare at Noya, he turned, tossed his garbage out, and left the lunch hall. As soon as the door closed behind him, Nishinoya clutched Koushi's sleeve.

"Please tell him I'm really, really, really sorry; I would've backed off if I had known he got nervous around people—" Koushi put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

"Calm down, Noya-san. I'm pretty sure Asahi will eventually warm up to you. It just takes him a while to adjust to new people."

******

"Suga!" Koushi stopped and turned to find Daichi walking up to him and waving. He couldn't help but smile.

"Mind if I walk home with you?" Daichi asked when he had caught up with him. Koushi shook his head, and the pair began to walk back towards their apartment building. Daichi swallowed.

"Hey, listen," he started. Suga turned his head towards him. "I'm sorry I kind of exploded at lunch. I was just kinda sick of having to put up with Tanak and Noya's shenanigans. And I'm really sorry that Noya went and scared Asahi off; I promise it won't happen again."

The ash blond waved a hand at him. "Gosh, you and Noya won't stop with that. He kept finding me through out the day, reminding me to tell Asahi how sorry he was. I thought it was kind of endearing though. He doesn't even know Asahi, and he's going out of his way to make sure he makes up for scaring him off." He looked down, a small smile on his face. Daichi tried not to stare, but God damn it, this man was attractive.

For a brief moment, Daichi thought he'd be able to ask Suga what he was intending to ask earlier, but he wasn't sure if he had the guts to do so. What if he said no? Oh please, Koushi would be the last person to reject anything. Biting his lower lip, he swallowed and then proceeded to ask.

"H-hey Suga?" The ash blond hummed in response. "Do you think that maybe—oh, I don't know—you'd like to go out for coffee or something this weekend? There's this one I work at, not too far away from the apartment building. I don't work until after noon on Saturday, and I was just thinking—"

"I'd love too."

"It's alright if you don't want to, I mean—wait, what?"

"I said I'd love too," Koushi stopped and smiled at him. Oh God, he was doing that super adorable smile again. Daichi scratched at the back of his neck and managed to squeak out, "Uh, great. Meet me outside around eleven? We can walk there if isn't too cold. It's just around the block."

"Sounds good to me." he nudged Daichi's arm. Koushi teased him "Loosen up, would you? I know we're not really good friends yet, but I hope to get to know you more over that coffee you promised." Daichi was about to say something, but Suga had bid him farewell, and walked down the first floor hallway to his apartment.

Daichi, left alone at the foot of the stairs, smiled and pumped his fists repeatedly. He had successfully asked Sugawara Koushi out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt this was a little messy, but eh, I want to get this out to you guys. Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we get to see more of Asahi, and we get to meet Hinata, Kageyama, and Kuroo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it's been a while. Hope you guys forgive me...school is such a pain in the ass. But uh, enjoy!
> 
> *EDIT* Something weird must've happened when I uploaded this chapter, because some of the paragraphs were out of order. I fixed it, so it shouldn't be too confusing now!

"Sugaaaa," Asahi had whimpered from the couch. "Suga, I can't believe I did it again."

Koushi walked over to him, handing the brunet a mug of tea. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's not your fault, Asahi. Do you know how many times Nishinoya came up to me today, asking me to apologize to you for him? Go ahead, guess."

He thought for a moment, sipped his tea, and looked up to Koushi. "Twice?"

"Try seven times." Asahi stared incredulously at Sugawara, as if saying "no way on planet Earth". Koushi nodded at him, almost chuckling. The brunet didn't say anything more, but continued to sip on his tea.

"He was really attractive too," Asahi groaned almost inaudibly as Koushi got up from his place next to him. "What do I do, Suga?"

The ash blond took a seat at his desk, pulling out his laptop and a few note books. He turned a bit in his chair to face Asahi. "Well, I think you should try talking to him. You'll never be able to be his friend or more if you don't." The brunet groaned again from behind him.

"Try talking to him tomorrow at lunch. I'm sure he'll back off just a bit, now that he knows that you get nervous," Koushi offered, going over when his assignments were due and writing himself a reminder to be taped on the wall next to his desk. He pushed aside his books when he had finished and turned back to his laptop.

"Have you spoken to Hinata or Kageyama lately?" Koushi asked without looking over his shoulder. Asahi had concluded that no, he had not. With that, Koushi opened up Skype and proceed to call his kouhai. He motioned to the brunet still on the couch to pull over a chair so that they could all talk to each other, He did so and looked anywhere but at the laptop screen. Koushi didn't say anything as the call connected.

Hinata was the first to pick up. "Suga-san! Asahi-san!" The ginger utterlly spilled his sunny essence through the screen and made Suga smile. "How are you guys!?"

Kageyama had answered mere moments later. Before he said a greeting however, he groaned. "I see enough of this dumbass at school, why'd you invite him to the call?"

"Bakageyama!"

"Shut it, shortie!"

The two seniors threw a few more insults at each other before Suga had intervened.

"You guys haven't changed much, I see," Asahi muttered meekly at the two of them. Hinata chuckled and scratched at his cheek quickly.

"Ah, I guess you're right, Asahi-san," Hinata chuckled again, and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

Koushi smiled at the two boys on the screen. They had grown up so much since he had first met them in their first year of high school. Hinata and Kageyama, at first, could not stand to be within ten feet of each other. Now, however, Koushi had seen how close they had grown these past few years. Even though they bickered nearly every few minutes, Suga knew that Hinata and Kageyama cared about each other very much.

"Eh, Suga-san? What are you smiling at?" Hinata asked, and the ash blond shook his head. Hinata furrowed his brow and pouted. Kageyama looked suspicious of his senpai as well, but didn't press. The two of them looked to Asahi.

"Asahi-san, you don't look well," Kageyama commented, and the brunet jumped at the sound of his name. He bit his lower lip, debating whether or not to tell Hinata and Kageyama about what happened earlier. He looked up to Koushi for reassurance. The ash blond only smiled encouragingly and nodded.

"Th-there was this guy at lunch today'" Asahi started, avoiding eye contact. Koushi looked at him from the corner of his eye, nodding subtly, encouraging him further. "H-He kind of s-scaredme off before I had the chance to talk to him...but I..." He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought.

Hinata chirped. "You like him, Asahi-san?"

Quickly averting his eyes, Asahi nodded fervently. Hinata squealed on the other side of the screen. Kageyama looked about ready to punch the ginger boy.

"Try talking to him, see what he says," Kageyama suggested nonchalantly. "If he refuses to speak to you, I'll kick his ass into next week."

"I-I don't even know him, Kageyama," Asahi insisted. "In fact, I wouldn't have known about him if S-Suga hadn't invited this other guy to lunch with us."

"Oh?" Kageyama asked and looked at Sugawara.

Koushi understood that Ashai had wanted to shift the focus of the conversation away from him, but the last thing he wanted to do was talk about the raven haired man. However, it had been said, and the two seniors of Karasuno High turned to look at Suga.

He waved his hands, trying to dismiss the topic of Daichi. "No, it's not like that at all. Daichi and I are just friends. I only met him properly a few days ago. It's nothing."

"Only a few days ago?" Kageyama echoed. "And you're on a first name basis with him? Doesn't sound like 'nothing' to me, Suga-san."

Koushi could feel the tips of his ears burn. He shouldn't have said anything, oh God, he shouldn't have said anything. He looked away from the screen so he wouldn't have to look at Hinata's and Kageyama's smug faces.

"Well, what's he like, Suga-san?" Hinata inquired at last. The ash blond looked up at the screen. The ginger blinked a few times, awaiting an answer. Kageyama messed with the cord of his headphones, didn't say anything. Suga knew that he wanted to know as well. Sighing, he went on and described Daichi to his kouhai.

"Well he's..." He didn't know where to start. Koushi pressed his lips together in thought. Then, he smiled. "He's really dorky. And tall. Dark hair, dark eyes, and tan, too."

After a pause, Hinata blinked again. "Dorky how?"

Suga shrugged. "I dunno. He just...Daichi stumbles over his words all the time, and he just kinda zones out."

At the same time, Hinata and Kageyama quirked an eyebrow. Asahi let out a brief laugh, as did Suga. The high school students looked at each other in slight confusion.

That's how most of the call went. Suga had then asked them how their volleyball season was going. Hinata was finally captain and the official ace this year, and Koushi couldn't help but feel proud of him. Kageyama, of course, was the vice captain and official setter. The ginger and the raven haired boy went back and forth, telling Suga and Asahi about the first years, and then the second years who they thought fit to be captain. They also filled them in on the other third years, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Kageyama was nearly one hundred percent sure that they were dating.

Koushi missed being on the volleyball team at Karasuno. He had been on the university team last year, but missed try outs for this year. He was kind of glad, considering he didn't think he'd have time for it this year; between school and work, Suga had very little down time to even think about volleyball.

He glanced at the time at the corner of the screen. His tired eyes widened when he realized how late it had gotten. Hinata squeaked and went on about how much homework he hadn't done that was due the following day. Kageyama followed up by calling him a dumbass and scolding him. The ginger stuck his tongue out, said goodnight to everyone, and hung up. Kageyama said a farewell also and hung up, ending the call.

It was then that Asahi realized that he should probably be getting back to his dorm at the school. Koushi asked if Asahi had wanted him to walk him home, but the brunet kindly refused. The door closed behind him, and once again, Koushi's apartment was silent.

*****

"God dammit," Daichi groaned after he handed a customer their order. He was working his shift at The Crow's Nest which was a little coffee shop a few blocks away from his apartment building. It was close to closing time, but a few students were still scattered across the shop, sipping on their third or fourth cup of coffee, staring at laptop screens. At that moment, Daichi strongly identified with them; it was late Thursday night, and he had yet to study for his criminal justice exam that was the following morning.

He slammed his forehead against the wall and groaned again. Just what he needed; a bad grade in the class he wanted to pass. Daichi's shenanigans earned him a weird look from his coworker, Kuroo.

"Hey, uh, you alright?" Kuroo quirked an eyebrow as Daichi turned to face him. He narrowed his eyes at his fellow barista.

"Please, don't go spilling everything all at once." Kuroo rolled his eyes. "Seriously, what's eating at ya?"

"Got a test tomorrow that I didn't study for," Diachi mumbled. He wasn't in the mood to talk, especially not with Kuroo. The guy was nice when he wanted to be, but the rest of the time, he was a bastard. A narcissistic bastard at that, too.

"Ah, who cares?" Kuroo smirked. "I never study and I still do fine."

Daichi mumbled a "whatever you say" under his breath and realized that it was closing time. He and Kuroo had to beg the last few people to leave, that it was closing time, and that no, they couldn't order another cup of coffee. Once the last student left, Daichi flipped the sign from Open to Closed, and the two of them started to clean up. It took about a half an hour (as it usually did), and then the both of them clocked out. It was about 10:45 by the time Kuroo locked up, and Daichi parted wih him.

Some nights he wouldn't mind walking home, but tonight wasn't one of those nights. It was pretty chilly that night with the cold wind biting at his face and tips of his ears. Fall was slowly turning into winter, and Daichi wasn't looking forward to the impending cold weather.

Although the walk was short, he was thankful that he had finally made it back to his apartment. He threw off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, scanning his apartment for his backpack. It was sitting next to his bed, and Daichi slid it over to his desk. He plopped down in the uncomfortable wooden chair, flicked on the lamp, and tried to get some studying done.

One moment, Daichi was reading about the different levels of precincts, and the next thing he knew, his alarm was going off. The raven haired man nearly fell out of his chair at the noise and stumbled over to shut it up. Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Daichi proceeded to get all his notes together. He hastily got dressed, and, in an attempt to wake himself up, splashed cold water in his face. It didn't help by much, but it was better than nothing.

Daichi slung his backpack over his shoulder, locked up his apartment, and proceeded to walk to school.

He was nearly late to language arts (again), but made it just before Takeda called for class to start.

*****

Suga watched as Daichi just barely made it acceptably on time to language arts. He quickly stuttered over an apology to Takeda (who told him not to worry about it, but next time would be different) and made his way to the row Suga was sitting in. The ash blond's pulse raced as he thought that Daichi would sit next to him, but that didn't happen. The brunet sat on the complete opposite side of the row, cradling his face in his hands.

Suga wanted to move towards him, but didn't think now would be a great time since Takeda started teaching; instead, he kept glancing at Daichi. His classmate looked exhausted, his eyes lidded. His jaw, usually set and prominent, slacked as he leaned his cheek into his palm. Even his dark eyes that were usually bright seemed dim. Suga bit his lip and quickly told himself to stop, to stop staring for God's sake.

He wanted to know what was bothering him; it was in his nature to help people when something was. But he couldn't focus on that. At least, not right now. Takeda was in the middle of his lecture, and Suga really couldn't afford getting a bad grade in such a simple class. For now, the ash blond focused on writing down his notes and ignoring the aura of exhaustion that emanated from Daichi.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD! I just had so much work from school to do, and hey, school ends in 2 weeks for me! Hopefully I'll be able to crank out more chapters in a more timely manor. I apologize for the horrible-ness of this chapter as I was too lazy to proof read it, so please forgive any spelling/grammar errors. I will edit it eventually. Enjoy!

Daichi just knew when he walked out of criminal justice on Friday that he had totally bombed the exam. His shoulders slumped, his backpack almost slipping off of them, and he trudged his way across campus. What he wouldn't give for Sugawara to be walking next to him. If Daichi could just see that beautiful smile of his, he'd probably be feeling a little bit more confident on that exam.

But Koushi wasn't there, walking with him. Daichi wasn't sure why he was thinking of something so ridiculous; he barely knew Sugawara Koushi and the brunet loved his company. It was something about the ash blond's personality that drew Daichi to him. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth. He was pretty sure he was starting to fall for his fellow sophomore; to be precise, Daichi was pretty sure he was falling hard. No one had ever been that genuinely nice to him in his entire life, save for his parents. Could it be that Suga was just that nice to everyone?

Something hot tore through Daichi's chest. He blinked in confusion and stopped for a moment, putting a hand to his chest. Was he jealous? He furrowed his brow. Jealous of what? Jealous that other people were receiving the ash blond's kindness? Daichi shook his head; he was pathetic. He'd known Koushi for all but a week or two. He was ridiculous. Daichi didn't want to think like that. Daichi didn't want to become some jealous jerk.

He reached his apartment and tossed his backpack on the floor. The brunet glanced at a paper hanging up in the entryway. He scanned down to today's date and looked to see what time his shift was at. Today he was supposed to be there for a shift that started at four, and ended at ten. Daichi glanced at the clock just next to it. It was now three o'clock; he had some time to kill before he had to leave.

He rummaged through his closet for a sweater since the temperature had dropped since earlier this afternoon. He pulled off his t-shirt, slipped on his sweater, and came back out into the living area/adjoined kitchen area. He contemplated texting Michimiya to ask her for today's language arts notes, but he had half of a mind to think that was even a good idea. She would smack him upside the head the next time she saw him if Daichi asked. He hadn't paid attention (again), and he knew that his grade in that class would plummet if he didn't get his shit together soon.

Instead, he shot a quick text to Sugawara, his heart fluttering as he hit send.

To: Suga

Do you think you could bring your LA lecture notes to coffee tomorrow? I was too tired to even write any today.

Mere moments later, the ash blond had replied.

From: Suga

Tsk tsk Daichi-san! ;) Haha of course I'll bring them! Can't wait for tomorrow!

Daichi nearly dropped his phone and nearly launched it across the room at the same time. He bit his lip to keep from making an outburst, but he certainly felt his face burn. "Can't wait for tomorrow!"? Daichi covered his flushed face with his hands.

After setting his phone down, Daichi glared daggers at his backpack. To do homework, or not to do homework, that was the question. The answer to that question was not to do homework. He kept himself busy with little tasks around his apartment until it was time for him to leave for his shift.

Daichi slung his backpack over his shoulder again, figuring he could try to get some homework or studying done during his break. He wasn't sure who he was going to be working with today, but it probably wasn't Kuroo; he was usually off on Fridays. That only left Nishinoya or the infamous Oikawa Tooru to be his coworker for the day. In all honesty, he didn't want to be around either of them at the moment. Both of them could be annoying at the worst of times, and Daichi really didn't want to deal with that.

He just prayed to whatever deity that resided over his head that this shift would be tolerable today.

*****

Sugawara woke up on Saturday morning a bit earlier than he had planned. He attributed it to his nerves. He was nervous, he admitted to himself. This was just Daichi though, Suga told himself. There ws nothing to get worked up over, but at the same time, there was everything to get worked up over. Suga was painfully aware that he really, really liked Daichi. Like, a lot. However, the ash blond was pretty sure Daichi wasn't into guys. Suga bit his lip. But there was always the off chance that he could be?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He really shouldn't get his hopes up; last time he had told a guy he had liked him, Suga had gotten a rude awakening. Harrassment and teasing had ensued within the following month, and Suga had hated it.

But Daichi wasn't the type of guy who would do that to him, Suga knew that deep down in his heart. He sighed. Suga knew that there was maybe a one percent chance that Daichi wouldn't reject him if he had told the brunet how he felt.

Dragging himself out of bed, Suga walked into his bathroom, threw off his clothes, and stepped into the shower. After drying himself off, Suga pulled on a pair of gray jeans and tugged a blue sweater on over his head.

His ash blond hair was tousled and sticking up at odd angles, and Suga did his best to fix it. He squinted at his reflection and frowned. Giving up on styling his hair, Sugawara crossed the threshold into the main part of his apartment. Since he had some time to kill before his meet up with Daichi, Suga decided to get some of his homework done. He had a paper due in his sociology class the following Wednesday and he had wanted to get a head start on it.

About an hour and a half later, Suga had gotten his introduction and a body paragraph done. It maybe didn't seem like much to some people in that amount of time, but he felt accomplished. He shut down his laptop and fished around in his backpack for the spiral notebook that he kept his language arts notes in, as he had remembered Daichi's request for the notes from the other day. When his hand closed around the notebook, Suga rose to his feet and walked over to the entryway. He slipped on a pair of plain white Vans, tugged on a light jacket, made sure he had his keys, and left for the café.

The walk there wasn't unpleasant. The wind was a bit chilly and nipped at the tips of Sugawara's ears, but other than that, the walk was quite peaceful. Some students he recognized from the University were out and about on the sidewalks; some were window shopping, others were solely walking around just because. Suga was so caught up in looking around at the fall scenery that he had almost walked past The Crow's Nest.

The bell above the door rang as Suga walked across the threshold. Daichi looked up just as the ash blond caught sight of him. His smile sent Daichi's stomach into chaotic flurries. He felt his heart flutter as Suga made his way to the seat across from him. He set down a battered looking spiral notebook in the middle of the table and looked up at Daichi with that ridiculously gorgeous smile of his. Daichi bit the inside of his cheek to keep him from making an exasperated noise.

"I'm sorry, I should've shot you a text before I left to let you know I was on my way," Suga started. He slid the notebook closer to Daichi. "Yesterday's language notes are in there. To be honest, I almost forgot to bring them." He scratched at his cheek, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips.

"Oh, thank you." Daichi took the notebook gratefully. "And don't worry about it. I just got here myself." Which was a total lie. He had gotten there nearly an hour early because he couldn't stand to just sit in his apartment in anticipation. In fact, when he had arrived, Oikawa had started his shift and had been hovering over Daichi like the nuisance he was.

"To what do I owe the great pleasure of being in your presence on your day off, Daichi-san?" The brunet had asked with a smug expression.

Daichi had rolled his eyes. "Leave me alone. I'm just meeting a friend here today. You better not annoy the hell out us, or I swear-"

"Oh, I would do nothing of the sort!" Oikawa's voice sounded sickly sweet, and Daichi just wanted him to get away. He wasn't in the mood. He just mumbled a "whatever" under his breath, which dismissed the pestering brunet.

Now, said brunet kept glancing over at Daichi, giving him his All Knowing Look. Honestly, he wished he could just slump so far into his seat that Oikawa couldn't see him. He bit the inside of his cheek again.

"Daichi?" Suga had been talking to him, but he had not been paying attention. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Sorry, Suga, I'm just a little bit out of it today." Daichi's reply came muffled behind his hand as he dragged it down his face. Suga furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his companion. Daichi had leaned his elbows on the table and cradled his face in his hands. When he sat up again, Suga noticed that there were the startings of dark circles under his eyes. Even his posture gave away that he was clearly mentally and physically tired. Sugawara suddenly felt guilty; for what, he didn't exactly know. He sort of felt at fault for having to drag Daichi out here if he didn't feel well. Exhaling deeply, Sugawara voiced his concern.

"Hey, if you're really not up for this-hanging out, I mean-then it's really no big deal," Suga started calmly. "You don't look well, and I'd feel bad if I kept you somewhere you didn't want to be."

The ash blond's voice cracked as he finished his statement, and he covered his mouth in embarrassment. Daichi could just see the disappointment on the other sophomore's face, hear it in his voice. The brunet's heart skipped, and then his chest felt void.

"I'm fine, it's just..." Daichi didn't know how to finish. He knew he wasn't fine; he hadn't been feeling fine for some time now. He wanted, so badly, to be here and to hang out with Sugawara, but at the same time he didn't. Part of him wanted to be curled up on his couch, the television on just for the sake of having background noise.

Daichi looked Suga dead in the eye. The ash blond's features went soft. "Seriously," He said. "It won't bother me if you want to go home. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

The brunet knew just by looking at Suga that it would bother him if Daichi just got up and left; Sugawara was a terrible liar. Honey hazel eyes started back at him as Suga awaited his answer.

Daichi sighed. "I...I think it would be better if I went home, Sugawara. I'm really...I'm sorry." The brunet stood up from his chair, the spiral notebook in his hand, and felt those honey hazel eyes following him as he left The Crow's Nest. Once outside, he let out a shuddering sigh, and continued to walk in the direction of his apartment building.

Suga watched as Daichi left the little coffee shop. He let out a breath that he wasn't even aware he had been holding. His hands shook just a bit, and balled them into fists to keep them from shaking too evidently. He inhaled and then exhaled deeply again, trying to keep himself together. It was selfish of him to be upset over something like this; if Daichi wasn't in the mood to be around people, then there was nothing Suga could do to change his mind, which was something he learned from being friends with Asahi.

Although, this somehow felt different than what Asahi went through everyday. This feeling of not wanting to be around people that was coming from Daichi seemed different than that to Suga. He felt as if something was bothering the brunet, but he felt it best to give Daichi his space and not to press.

After sitting in the coffee shop for a few more minutes, Suga had risen from his seat as well and was on his way home.

*****

Daichi sat on his couch, the light from a lamp and the television being the only source of illumination in his dark apartment. He raised an arm up to his eye level and, with his opposite index finger, traced the thickest vein from his wrist to his elbow until he lost sight of it under his skin. He stared at his wrist for a moment longer before dropping it to his side.

Not tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read this chapter at you own discretion! Other than that...I don't wanna say enjoy, because this chapter gets sad but...yeah.

Sugawara was really starting to worry.

The first month of school had come and gone. October rapidly came to an end. The weather was starting to get colder, the plants dying. That was all normal. However, the ash blond was starting to notice that his brunet companion was acting out of the ordinary.

Ever since that failed attempt to hang out that one September afternoon, Suga had begun to see weird patterns in Daichi's behavior. They still had lunch together with Asahi after class, they still talked, texted each other as well. But whenever the two talked to each other, Sugawara noticed that Daichi's eyes seemed to be looking some place far, far away. Sometimes he would even zone out in the middle of a conversation, and then Suga would have to snap him out of his thoughts.

The dark circles under the raven haired man's eyes grew more and more evident with each passing day, each passing week. Daichi slouched over in his chair often in language arts, but Takeda had given up by now to try to correct his posture.

Sugawara would absentmindedly glance at him every so often every time they had language arts. Daichi constantly asked if he could borrow Suga's notes, and he would let him. Their fingers would brush when they passed each the notebook between them, and it seemed that Daichi thought nothing of it. The ash blond knew it was so very selfish of him to think that Daichi didn't feel anything towards him the way Suga wanted him to, but he couldn't help it. Even so, he pushed those thoughts aside and fought with himself to urge him to ask Daichi the question that was bugging him.

"Are you alright, Daichi?" He finally asked one day during their lunch break. Asahi had stayed at his dorm that day, for he had a cold. When asked the question, Daichi looked up at him, his dark brown eyes blank voids as he stared.

"Why do you ask?"

"I dunno...it just seems that you're just..." Sugawara trailed off. "You seem tired all the time, and I see that you don't eat too much during our break."

As he said this, Daichi was picking at his food on his tray. He set his plastic fork down next to his plate and avoided direct eye contact with Suga. He sighed. "Yeah. Everything's fine."

A moment of silence settled over the two of them. After a pause, Suga half whispered, "You know you can tell me anything, right, Daichi?"

Daichi had then replied, "Trust me, you'd be the first to know anything."

It was now mid-November, which meant a short break was coming up. It was only for a week, but Sugawara was looking forward to it. When he had asked Daichi about his plans for the week off, he had simply replied that he would most likely go home to his family to spend time with them.

"What about you?" Daichi asked. Suga blinked for a moment. Usually the brunet had little interest in contributing to conversations. However, Suga took his opportunity.

"I'm going back home, too. Most likely going to meet up with some of my old teammates." Suga shrugged as they continued walking back together. "I miss them alot. I feel like they'd like you, Daichi."

A tiny ghost of a smile graced the brunet's lips, one of the first Suga had seen from him in a while. "Well, I'd like to meet them one day, then."

They split up at their usual spot at the bottom of the stairs the led up to the second floor of the apartment building. They said their goodbyes to each other, and Daichi made his way up the stairs. Suga watched him go, and then made his way to his own apartment once the brunet disappeared from his sight.

Once inside his apartment, Sugawara took off his jacket and threw it to the side. He had his shift at the bookstore just a few streets over. However, his shift didn't start until five, so he had some time to kill.

Suga dragged his backpack over to his desk and booted up his laptop. He pulled out some of his language arts notes and looked over his outline for his next paper. He hated writing these things. He hadn't got much of it done, but by the time he finished his introduction, he had to start getting ready to leave for work. With that in mind, he saved the document, powered down his laptop, and put away his notes.

He changed into a warmer sweater, as the temperature had certainly dropped since he had left school earlier. Sugawara was just slipping on his shoes when he heard an agonized shout coming from the floor above him. His heart skipped.

That sounded like...

Another shout could be heard through the ceiling, and it sounded like something fell over.

"Daichi," Sugawara whispered, just barely audible even to himself. His breath hitched in his throat as he tore down the hallway towards the stairs, not even bothering to lock the door behind him. The ash blond bolted up the stairs, almost knocking over a young woman on his way up. When he reached the landing, he saw that some people had opened their doors and were peeking out into the hallway to see what was going on. Suga made his way to Daichi's apartment door, only to find it locked. He knocked twice.

"Daichi, it's me," He said, his forehead pressed against the painted white wood of the door.

"Go away, Sugawara." Daichi's voice sounded raw, and it cracked on his name. "Please, just go."

The ash blond sighed. "Daichi, I just want to help," He said soothingly. "I can't do that if you don't let me in."

Sugawara heard the brunet sigh shakily from behind the door. Then, he heard footsteps, and the sound of the lock clicking. The door opened just a bit, and Suga heard Daichi retreat back into his apartment. Suga stepped into the apartment and softly closed the door behind him.

The whole apartment was dim, the only light coming from a lamp in the living area. Daichi stood with his back to Suga, his phone in his hand. The chair at his desk had been toppled over. Cautiously, Sugawara took a few steps toward Daichi.

"Daichi," He started. "Can you tell me what the matter is?"

The brunet's fists clenched, and he turned his head to look at Suga over his shoulder. His brown eyes glistened like glass in the dim light, and he let out a shuddering sigh. "It's...my mom just...it's my dad, Suga."

The ash blond took another few steps toward Daichi, stretched out his hand towards him as if to put it on his shoulder. His heart raced. "What about your dad, Daichi?" He asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Daichi's breathing picked up, and he fought with himself to control it. His breath hitched in his throat when he responded, "He passed away."

Daichi looked Suga dead in the eye for a split second, and then turned his head so Suga couldn't see his face. Daichi brought his free hand up to his face, inhaling and exhaling heavily.

"Oh, Daichi." Sugawara moved so that he was in front of him, and he took Daichi's hand in his. The brunet glanced up at him, the dim light casting soft shadows over his sharp features. His jaw was clenched. Suga moved closer to him until their foreheads touched lightly. Suga closed his eyes and exhaled.

"You're going to be okay," He told Daichi. "I'm right here if you need anything, you should know that-"

Daichi swallowed as he pulled Suga closer to his chest, locking him in an embrace. He bowed his head so that his forehead pressed against Suga's shoulder.

Suga stood frozen for a moment, surprised by the sudden closeness of the brunet. After a moment, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around Daichi's torso as Daichi sobbed into his shoulder. Suga closed his eyes and rubbed small circles around Daichi's back, but not talking. He could feel the brunet's heart hammering in his chest.

Suga felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was probably Asahi or Kenma calling him to ask where he was. He ignored it and continued to calm down Daichi.

After what felt like a long time, Daichi stood up straight, breaking his embrace with Sugawara. He rubbed his face with his arm and sighed again.

"I'm...the funeral," Daichi managed. "The funeral is Saturday. I'm leaving tomorrow night."

Sugawara nodded slightly. "Are you going to be there all week?"

Daichi shook his head and his voice cracked. "P-probably not."

Sugawara stood there, looking into Daichi's face. He wanted to do so much more for him, other than just stand here and give him false comfort. Suga knew that Daichi would not be okay for a while. The death of a loved one was not taken lightly with anyone.

"Call me over the break, alright? Or you could...you could Skype me, too," Sugawara offered to him. "Please. I don't want to leave you alone for a week like this" I'm afraid you'll break beyond repair, Suga added inwardly.

Daichi nodded, but didn't say anything. He stood there in silence. Suga stepped forward again, giving him another quick hug. "Please get some rest and eat something, alright? I'll come back tomorrow before you leave."

The brunet nodded. "Alright."

*****

"I'm sorry, what happened to him, Suga?"

Suga was standing behind the counter of the bookstore, Asahi standing next to him. The ash bond had relayed what Daichi had told him, since he had to explain why he was late for his shift. Asahi stood there in utter shock, his hand over his mouth.

"Poor Daichi," Asahi whimpered. "I hope he's alright."

Instead of replying, Suga made himself busy by reorganizing the money in the register. Asahi took the hint and dropped the conversation.

"Isn't your shift over?" Sugawara asked without looking up.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm just...Yuu-oops, I-I mean Nishinoya-he wanted me to hang out with him tonight. H-he told me he was on his way over here."

Suga smirked and looked up at Asahi, who smiled sheepishly. "You're on a first name basis with him now? How nice." The bell over the door rang, and with it, the boisterous voice of Noya followed.

"Asahi-san! Are you ready to go?" Noya bounded up to the counter. His eyebrows shot up when he saw Sugawara standing next to Asahi. "Oh, hi, Suga-san. I didn't know you worked here too."

"Well, now you do." Suga gave him one of his small smiles, but it felt forced. He was tired, and his mind was on Daichi.

The two brunets left the little bookstore, leaving Suga to brave the rest of his shift by himself. The store was quiet, with the occasional customer wandering in and through the aisles.

When the store was empty, Sugawara took it upon himself to reorganize the shelves to keep him occupied until closing time. Only a few of the shelves had books that were out of place, and it didn't take him too long to find their rightful shelf.

There was another half hour to his shift, but he knew no one else was coming in. Sugawara sat down behind the counter and checked his phone. No new messages and no missed calls. Suga sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and stuck his phone into his back pocket. He stared around at the store and decided to close up for the night.

Locking up behind him, Sugawara zipped up his jacket and wound his scarf around his neck, bunching up his shoulder against the biting wind.

*****

The pair of scissors sat on the coffee table in front of Daichi. His exposed skin prickled in the cold air of his apartment. He hadn't bothered to turn on the heat.

The television was the only thing that offered a source of light in the room, as he hadn't bothered to do any of his homework that was due tomorrow. He wasn't going to class tomorrow anyways.

Daichi glanced at the scissors again. It almost felt like he was watching through someone else's eyes as he picked them up and opened them, so that the two blades weren't overlapping each other. He turned them in the blue light of the television, the silver gleaming in the harsh light.

He brought up his free hand and turned his arm so that the inside of his wrist could be seen. Daichi pressed the edge of the blade to his wrist. After a moment of hesitation, he quickly dragged the blade across the vulnerable skin. A stinging sensation shot down his arm.

"Shit," Daichi cursed through clenched teeth. Tears welled in his eyes as he repeated the action over and over, until there were five thin red lines on his wrist. The blood welled on his tanned skin, drops rolling off his skin and onto the coffee table or floor. He threw the scissors back onto the table and covered his face in his hands. He drew his knees up to his chest.

Daichi was shaking, God, he was shaking so much. The blood on his arm smeared and stained his skin, stained his cheek. His breath hitched in his throat as he stared at his arm through blurry eyes.

"I'm such a fucking coward."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is out a little later than I would've liked, but now I'm done with school for the summer. That means more time to write! This chapter is also a little shorter than usual, but I hope you guys enjoy!

Sugawara kept glancing over to his right every few minutes, but he knew he no matter how many times he looked there that Daichi would not be sitting in his usual seat. Suga tried to sit there and focus, but his mind was a thousand miles away, far off in Worryland. With a sigh of discontent, he dropped his head to the desk with a loud clunk, and knotted his fingers in his hair.

Asahi cautiously poked the ash blond beside him with the eraser of his pencil. When Suga picked his head up, the brunet leaned his head down and whispered. "You know, worrying about him isn't going to help him."

Suga muffled a groan. "I know, I know. It's just in my nature to worry. It's just..."

Takeda had finished his powerpoint, interrupting Asahi and Suga's conversation. He dismissed the class for the day, and Suga made to stand up with his belongings.

"It's just," Suga started again. "Something's been off with him as of late, too. I'm kind of nervous to leave him on his own for a whole week..."

Asahi worried his bottom lip between his teeth before replying to his friend. "I-if you want me to...since I'm not going home for the break, I could check up on him? Every few days I could just, I don't know, h-hang out with him?"

The pair began to walk out of the lecture hall. "Asahi, I really couldn't ask that of you...you barely know him. I wouldn't want to make you feel like you had to do that for me."

"But," Asahi interjected. "You really care about him, right? You'd feel useless if you couldn't help him in some way over the break, right? P-please, this is the least I could do."

Caving, Suga shrugged a shoulder. "If you really wouldn't mind, I would appreciate it alot, Asahi."

****

Daichi robotically sorted through the small suitcase he had packed for his short trip back home. He shrugged to himself, closed the top, and zipped it shut in one swift motion. He set his hands on top, leaning on it for a moment. The brunet could just barely see the scars he had left on his wrist, reminding him just what he had done to himself.

He had done his best to clean up after last night, but there had been a small blood stain on the wooden floor. It wasn't really noticeable, however. Daichi bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling.

Had Tanaka or Noya known what he'd done to himself, Daichi had no idea how they'd react. However, if Sugawara had ever found out...Daichi wouldn't let that happen though. Besides, he reasoned with himself, that was a heat of the moment sort of thing. He didn't think it would happen again.

Daichi set his suitcase on the ground and double checked with himself to make sure he had everything. After doing so, he pulled on a flannel over his plain white t-shirt, buttoning it up all the way. He made sure the sleeves covered the entirety of his wrists just in case he ran into anyone he knew on his way down to his car.

Daichi extended the handle of his suitcase and started to make his way down to the parking lot. When he got to his car, he did a double check to make sure he got everything. After he was sure he had everything, Daichi popped open the trunk of his little car and hoisted his suitcase into it. He shut the trunk after fitting it in and looked up to see Sugawara and Asahi making their way over to him. His heart skipped a beat.

Suga walked around the car so that he was facing Daichi, while Asahi stood awkwardly on the other side.

"Class just ended, so I thought I'd come say goodbye to you." Koushi smiled up at Daichi, and his heart was doing that thing again. The dark brunet blinked a few times in rapid succession, a looks of embarrassment crossing his features as he ran his fingers through his hair. Before he could get out a simple "thank you", Suga embraced him. Daichi's face flushed red as he tried to form words.

"Call me, okay? I don't want you by yourself the whole week," the ash blond whispered in his ear before stepping back. Daichi nodded and let out a sigh.

"Yeah, I...I will."

Sugawara smiled and started to make his way back go the cafeteria with Asahi. "Have a safe trip!" They both called over their shoulders. The brunet waved back at them, almost half of a smile on his lips. He turned back towards his car and sighed.

He really wished that his house wasn't two hours away. But then again, he wished the trip could be longer. He hadn't wanted to face reality and come to terms that his father really was gone. He bit his lip. Daichi picked up his head to look in the direction of the cafeteria, and then he climbed into the driver's seat of his car, starting the engine. And then, he was on his way home.

*****

"You will say hi to the team for me, r-right, Suga?" Asahi stuttered from the couch in Suga's living room. The ash blond looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah, of course! Although I'm going straight home to see my family." Suga stuffed a few sweaters into his duffel bag, along with a few pairs of jeans. He was packing for his trip back home and was anticipating seeing his old teammates as well. He hadn't seen his parents since before he had moved into his apartment earlier that summer, so he was also excited to see them. Suga stopped packing for a moment.

"Do you," the ash blond started, but paused to clear his throat. "Do you think he's going to be alright?"

Asahi sighed. "If you're that worried, then why don't you just give him a call?"

"I don't want to annoy him," Suga countered, because he did feel like every thought was preoccupied with Daichi. He sighed, narrowing his eyes at his cell phone that sat next to his duffel bag. Suddenly, it started to ring, causing Suga to nearly jump out of his skin. He made a grab it, fumbling to get a solid hold on it, and picked it up.

"Hello?" Suga hadn't bothered to check who had called. He pushed back his bang but they fell into his eyes again. He frowned.

"Hey." Suga's heart skipped as he recognized Daichi's voice. He sounded tired or like he'd just woken up. Probably both. "I was going to call you when I got to my parents' house, but I, uh, kinda fell asleep. You seem like the kinda guy who wants to make sure people got to their destination alright. I just...I'm blabbering, aren't I?"

The ash blond couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "A little. But hey, I appreciate the call. If you don't mind me asking, how's your mom holding up?"

Daichi sighed shakily from the other end of the line. "She-she's doing okay. She's handling it pretty well, I think. We talked for a while when I got home, and I think it helped a little, you know?"

Suga's voice dropped to barely a whisper. "Yeah." After a moment of silence, and of feeling Asahi's stare bore into him, Suga looked at the clock on the wall behind him. He let out an unmanly squeak of surprise, which earned him a small huff of laughter from the raven.

"I-I gotta go, Daichi; I gotta be on the road by seven." Suga held his phone between his head and shoulders and he hurried to finish packing. "But maybe I'll Skype or call you later? Maybe on Monday, that'd probably be better-"

"Yeah, Sunday night or Monday would be better," Daichi agreed. "I don't want to hold you up, so have a safe trip, alright?"

Suga swallowed past the lump in his throat and tried to ignore the skip his heart gave at Daichi's words. "Th-thanks. Bye, Daichi."

"Bye, Suga."

The line clicked, and Suga hung up, hastily shoving his phone into his back pocket. When he turned to grab his jacket on the chair behind him, he saw Asahi looking at him with a knowing smile.

"What?" Suga challenged as he slipped in his jacket andand slung his bag over his shoulder. Asahi chuckled.

"You two are practically married."

Sugawara began to splutter and move towards to the door to his apartment. "Married? Asahi, Daichi and I...he's...we're not even dating, Asahi! What makes you even say that?!"

The brunet rolled his eyes playfully as he followed Suga out of the apartment. "You're the mother hen type of person. You care and worry for him alot. If I were to describe your relationship with him to someone who didn't really know the two of you well, I'd say you two were practically married."

The ash blond felt his face burn in embarrassment. He knew Asahi was pretty much in the dot about the whole thing, but that didn't stop Suga from becoming the spastic mess he currently was.

The pair made it out to the parking lot, where Suga unlocked his car. Asahi watched as Suga tossed his duffel bag into the back seat of his car and slammed the door. The ashe blond turned to his brunet friend and smiled a bit.

"Speaking of relationships, how's Noya-san?" Suga smirked as soon as Asahi's eyes widened.

"Th-that's none of your business," Asahi muttered as he averted his eyes. Suga could tell that he was blushing. He laughed.

"It's plenty my business," Suga interhected, poking his friend in the arm. "If you want to peek into my personal life, I get to peek into yours."

"J-just get going already. You're going to hit traffic if you keep poking fun at me," Asahi pouted. "And I promise, I'll check up on Daichi when he gets back."

"Alright, alright." Suga rolled his eyes playfully now. "Thanks again, Asahi. I appreciate it alot. I'll see you in a week!"

And with that, Sugawara climbed into the driver's seat of his car, and drove away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!!! Plus, we have some Kagehina and minor TsukkiYama for this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm up at one in the morning posting this, so you better be grateful. This one's a little bit longer than the last few :)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> EDIT: http://m.8tracks.com/saikoyonebayashi/stay
> 
> dirtyweeaboo of tumblr made a fanmix!

Daichi stared out the window of his childhood bedroom. The sky was stained watery yellow and deep purple. He hadn't been able to fall asleep knowing that only one of his parents was in the room across from his. The brunet had kept looking from his door, to his wrist, to the window, and back to the door for the past two hours. The time was approaching three in the morning. Daichi eyed the pocket knife on his nightstand.

He didn't want to. He did not want to do this again. He promised himself he wouldn't. His mother would be disappointed, Tanaka and Noya would be disappointed, and dear God he couldn't even begin to imagine how disappointed Sugawara would be. But despite all of that, he watched himself pick up the pocket knife and flip the knife out.

Daichi would be seeing his father's lifeless face today. Daichi would be seeing his grandparents and his cousins and his aunts and uncles crying. Daichi would here empty apologies of "I'm sorry for your loss".

He didn't want any of this. The brunet brought the blade to his wrist, not the same one from last time. Once for his father, another for the crying faces, and another for empty apologies.

Daichi wasn't shaking as bad as he had the first time he had left scars. However, the pain shot down his arm all the same, causing him to drop the pocket knife.

He closed his eyes and held his arm in a vice like grip. He inhaled through his nose and exhaled out his mouth, trying to keep his breathing steady. Daichi felt tears sting the backs of his eyes but he didn't dare let them fall. He didn't want to cry.

Not anymore.

*****

Suga had gotten home pretty late. He should've known that there would be tons of traffic. After all, it was a Friday night, and most college kids in the area where heading somewhere, whether it be to a party, or back home to their families.

However, Suga had eventually gotten home at about eleven at night. He slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and dug out his house key from his pocket. Turning the key in the lock, Suga quietly opened the door. He closed it behind him with a soft click and kicked off his shoes. The ash blond peered into the living room and saw that his father was asleep in the recliner. His mother, however, was awake, and rose to her feet with a smile on her face.

"Oh Koushi, I'm so happy you're home!" She whispered as she walked over to him to embrace him. Sugawara chuckled as she pulled him down into a hug.

"Did you guys wait up for me? You really didn't have to, you know." Suga smiled as he pulled away from his mother. She had dark eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled, and her hair was nearly white.

She looked over her shoulder at Suga's father, who's glasses had went askew from falling asleep on the recliner. His salt and pepper hair seemed to glow in the low light of the television. Suga chuckled again. His dad almost always fell asleep in front of the TV. He wondered what Daichi's parents were like.

Suddenly, Suga's stomach knotted. His mother was saying something, but he wasn't paying attention. The ash blond reached for his phone in his back pocket to check if he had any new messages or missed calls. The screen was blank, only displaying the time and his lock screen. His brow furrowed.

"Is everything alright, Koushi?" His mother's voice broke through his thoughts and Suga shook his head to clear it. He bit his lower lip, contemplating on the thought of spilling to his mom everything about the raven haired man he had met.

"What's his name?" She asked quietly, but a playful smile graced her features.

Suga jumped, surprised at her words. "W-what makes you think that? You always think it's that, and it's not always that-"

"What's his name, Koushi?"

He sighed. There was no way around it. Ever since that one year in high school when he came out to his friends and his parents, his mother had always playfully teased him when he had been out of sorts, as if day dreaming about some boy. He was grateful that she and his dad hadn't treated him poorly after saying that he didn't like girls, because he knew some kids weren't as lucky.

"H-his name?" Suga's face flushed bright red. "Can't we t-talk about this tomorrow, mom? I'm tired; I had class today."

Her smile only widened. "So it is a boy, then? I knew it!"

"Mom, seriously. I should get to bed."

"Oh, alright. But I'm not dropping this tomorrow, Koushi."

Groaning inwardly, Suga dragged himself and his duffel bag up the stairs and into his childhood room. Everything was the way he had left it the last time he had been there. His bed was made and his desk had nothing but a lamp on it.

Suga tossed his bag next to his bed and fell backwards on top of the comforter. He pulled his phone out of his front pocket and checked for any messages. Again, his screen was blank. Suga turned on his side and scolded himself.

Back off of him, you're going to suffocate him, the ash blond told himself. He doesn't have to update you every second of every day.

He sat up and leaned against the headboard of his bed and placed his phone on his nightstand. Too lazy to get up and change, Suga kicked off his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, and took off his belt before crawling under the covers.

*****

"Suga-san!"

Sugawara's face lit up as he caught sight of Hinata and Kageyama. The both of them had grown so much since he had last seen them. Both of their bodies had filled out, and Hinata wasn't the same scrawny first year Sugawara had met almost three years ago. His ginger hair was longer, pulled into a tiny ponytail. Kageyama on the other hand, simply looked taller and his face, chiseled. He had also let his hair grow out, but not as much as Hinata had. The raven haired boy still wore the same pout, and the ginger haired boy still wore the same sunny smile Suga had always known. He smiled wider.

"Hinata! Kageyama! How are you two doing? It feels like forever since I've last seen you two in person." Suga greeted as he finally approached them. He furrowed his brows as he realized that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were absent. "Where are Tsukki and Yamaguchi?"

Hinata and Kageyama exchanged a look, the ginger smiling so much that Suga thought his face would split in two. Hinata bounced on his feet.

"They're on a date." Hinata giggled. "They finally got together last month."

"I called it back in our first year," Kageyama interjected. "There was no way Tsukishima wasn't gay for Yamaguchi back then."

"Wow, good for them!" Suga exclaimed. Back in his third year of high school, he had also clearly seen the bond between the two then first years. He smiled at the thought, and then smirked mischievously at the boys in front of him.

"So when are you two going to start dating?"

Kageyama choked on his own breath and spluttered. Hinata's face went nearly as red as the scarf he was wearing, and burrowed his face in his jacket. The raven haired boy managed to choke out a few sentences.

"W-why on earth would I date him?" Kageyama stammered. "He's stupid and obnoxious a-and annoying! He doesn't know when to shut up!"

When Suga looked at Hinata to see how he would protest against dating Kageyama, something flashed in his brown eyes. His eyes flitted downwards, and he bit his lower lip as if to keep from crying. He shoved his hands in his pockets and moved past Suga.

"L-let's just get to that coffee shop you wanted to try, Suga-san," Hinata mumbled and began to walk down the sidewalk. The ash blond elbowed Kageyama in the side, and he yelped at the action

"Be careful what you say around him, Kageyama. He's touchy, you should know that by now." Suga dropped his voice to a whisper as he and Kageyama began walking behind the ginger haired boy. Kageyama only pouted and narrowed his eyes, mumbling a few choice words under his breath.

Suga knew he hadn't meant what he said, but he really had to be careful. He had come to figure out that Hinata was slightly insecure with himself, but there really was no reason to be. However, almost nobody's mind could be changed once they thought of themselves that way.

They continued to walk in comfortable silence. The three of them reached the coffee shop, ordered what they wanted, and grabbed a table near the window. Suga encircled his drink with his hands. This reminded him of that failed attempt at what would've been a date (almost) with Daichi.

"Suga-san? Is something wrong?"

The ash blond looked up at the two third years as he broke out of his reverie. He forced a bit of a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Suga replied. "It's just that the last time I was at a coffee shop, I had been with Daichi and he, well..."

"What happened?" Kageyama asked, furrowing his brow as he took a sip of his black coffee.

"He wasn't feeling right." Suga's voice dropped to barely a whisper as he continued. "He didn't look like he felt right. He hasn't been himself lately, either. I'm really worried about him."

Hinata blinked at Sugawara. "Is he...y'know, is he acting like Yamaguchi had last year?"

Sugawara dropped his gaze. Yamaguchi had been depressed ever since the middle of his first year. Nobody had really noticed it at first, but Tsukishima was quick to find out in their second year that the freckled boy had been down and that he had contemplated taking his life. Suddenly, Suga felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I...I don't know. He's just not acting like himself," Suga murmured. "His father just passed away, and he went home just for the weekend to attend the funeral. I think it's today. I haven't talked to him since Friday."

"I think you should talk to him," Kageyama stated as he finished off his drink. "You never know what could be running through his head, you know?"

"Kageyama's right," Hinata surprisingly agreed with the raven haired boy. "I'm not saying he is, but he could be thinking like Yamaguchi was last year. But, for both of your sakes, I really hope he isn't."

"Right." Suga exhaled. He really hoped Daichi wasn't thinking like that. He dropped his gaze to his lukewarm coffee.

"Aw cheer up, Suga-san!" Hinata grinned. "You really shouldn't be so sad. I'm sure he'll be okay with you around. You always find a way to make everything better."

"Thank you, Hinata." Suga smiled. He sighed and looked up at Hinata and Kageyama. "Seriously, how are you two not dating yet?"

Kageyama bit his lip, his entire face flushing red. Hinata's cheeks also became red, and he chanced a few glances at the boy to his right. Suga grinned as Kageyama muttered something incoherent under his breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you, Kageyama," Suga teased as he leaned a little closer to the boy to hear him.

"It's 'cause he's so damn oblivious," Kageyama muttered a little louder than before. The ginger's eyes widened as the words hit his ears, and he swiftly turned his head to look at the raven haired boy. Suga covered his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter.

"I...I'm the oblivious one?! Y-you're one to talk, stupid!" Hinata made hand gestures to convey his frustration and embarrassment. "You keep giving me mixed signals and crap! H-how do think I t-take your insults?! They hurt!"

"Hey, calm down, Hinata-"

"You know I'm not good with words," Kageyama muttered from behind the collar of his jacket. "You insult me too, you know."

Suga watched as the conversation unfolded. He totally called back in his third year that they would eventually get together. The conversation went from them telling each other that their insults were meant for endearment, not in a derogatory sense. The ash blond covered his smile with his hand.

"See, thanks to me, you two will start dating." The two muttered things under their breath, stuff that sounded like sarcastic remarks. Suga could help but grin wider.

The three of them eventually decided to leave the café and split ways. Well, Suga split ways with the two boys who were now holding hands. The ash blond waved goodbye to them, promising to meet up with them later in the week, next time with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.

As he walked home, snow started to fall lightly. He tugged his scarf up over his ears and continued to walk home. He glanced at the time on his phone, and pondered on the thought of Skyping Daichi when he returned home. Suga thought it better not to, since the other would most likely be emotionally drained from the service earlier that day. He just hoped that Daichi would be able to stuck it out without him for the rest of the week


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning and new characters. Yay! Also a Skype call ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I'm sorry it's been almost 2 months since I've updated! Summer homework is not fun at all, lemme tell ya. But I finally got it done!! Enjoy!!
> 
> And if you guys want to post anything (like fanart or you wanna say something on tumblr) you CA tag me (xelaricthenobody) or tag it as "fic: stay" I would love to look at it!!

Daichi pulled his car into a spot near the entrance of his apartment building. He killed the engine and slumped back in the driver's seat for a moment.

He was sort of glad to be away from his mother, his hometown; it brought too many memories to mind, like the time when his dad had taught him how to ride a bike, back when Daichi was nine. Or the first time he went driving, and couldn't stop hitting the brakes, but his parents were there trying to calm him down.

Daichi shook his head. Stop that, he told himself. That's not helping.

The brunet pushed the door open and walked around to the trunk of his car. He popped it open, slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, closed the trunk, and trudged towards the welcoming doors of the apartment building.

When he got to his door, Daichi spun his key ring around his finger before placing the key in the lock. When he turned the key, however, he found that the door was already unlocked. Had he forgotten to lock it when he left that weekend? Or maybe someone had picked the lock?

"I swear to god," Daichi groaned under his breath. "If someone broke into my apartment-"

However, Daichi was greeted to a much different scene than was expected. He swung the door open to find Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Asahi inside. Noya was sprawled out on the couch, but straightened up when Daichi had opened the door. The brunet took a few steps into his apartment and closed the door behind him. The three men across from him blinked at him, soft smiles curling their lips.

"Hey, Daichi!" Noya piped up. "Welcome back!"

Daichi set down his duffel bag and sighed. "What are you guys doing here?" He mumbled as he looked back to his three friends that have somehow invaded his apartment.

The smiles had not dropped from Tanaka and Noya's faces, however, Asahi looked a bit nervous. "Asahi-san said that Suga-san said to keep you company this week while he was away! He said that Suga-san didn't want you locked up in here until classes resumed."

Daichi blinked, dumbfounded. He looked to Asahi, who had turned a bright shade of pink. "Really? He said that?"

"W-well, not that exactly, b-but yes, pretty much." Asahi was stuttering over his own words, almost avoiding eye contact with Daichi. "He asked me t-to keep you company so that you wouldn't be alone with your...with your thoughts."

The brunet looked down at the floor, the ghost of a smile graced his features. "Figures. He really his something else," Daichi murmured. He would be sure to call Suga later.

"Oooh, Daichi-san has a crush on Suga-san~" Tanaka smirked devilishly, and Noya joined in on teasing him. Daichi's expression hardened.

"Oh would you two shut it?" He rolled his eyes as he walked over to the three of them. "But, uh, thanks guys. It means alot."

Asahi smiled. "No problem."

Noya jumped up from his place in the couch. "Who's up for a game of volleyball?"

"Seriously? I just got home," Daichi complained as Noya bounced up and down uncontrollably.

"C'mooooon, please?" He gave Daichi his best puppy dog look. "We haven't hung out in forever, and you know it!"

Tanaka got up from his seat on the couch and joined Noya in rapidly asking please, making a weird attempt at a puppy dog face. Daichi caved.

"Alright, alright, I'll come play volleyball with you guys." The two freshmen cheered in delight when Daichi agreed. He sighed and went to slip on his sneakers again.

In the meantime, Nishinoya had turned to Asahi. "You used to play volleyball too, right? With Suga-san? You should come with us!"

Daichi looked over his shoulder and saw that Asahi looked as if he didn't know how to answer Nishinoya. He bit his lower lip and looked as if he was on the verge of freaking out. Daichi was about to say something to Noya, but the shorter freshman seemed to take a hint from Asahi.

He jumped back from Asahi, giving him a three foot radius of personal space. Noya rubbed the back of his neck and smile sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry! I keep forgetting. But uh, you don't have to come with us if you don't want to, you know. Maybe next time...?"

Asahi did that thing where he closed his eyes and smiled as if he were sorry. "Y-yeah, I have some uh, I have some homework that I need to catch up on. B-but maybe next time."

Tanaka stood in the doorway. "Come on you guys, volleyball isn't going to play itself," He complained as the remaining three boys started to make their way to the door.

*****

"Hey, hey, hey, it's Daichi and his little subordinates! Come to play some volleyball against some pros?"

Daichi rolled his eyes as he, Nishinoya, and Tanaka approached the only court being used in the gym. A smiling Bokuto Koutarou stood on the court, volleyball in hand. Next to him stood Kuroo. He looked over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the new comers.

"Sawamura's come to play, eh?" Kuroo grinned as he turned around to face the others. He bounced a volleyball between his hand and the wood floor. "And he's brought the monk and the shortie? That's too easy."

Tanaka was already aggressively tearing off his jacket, muttering strings of curses under his breath about the bed-headed sophomore across from him. Noya narrowed his eyes at Kuroo, and his lower lip protruded.

Daichi rolled his eyes and let out a huff of laughter as he shrugged off his jacket. He went to roll up the sleeves of his long sleeved t-shirt, but quickly remember the scars on his wrists. He pulled the cuffs back down over his wrists and walked towards the rest of his friends.

"Does three on three sound all right to you, crows?" Kuroo smirked again. Tanaka and Noya furrowed their brows and tilted their heads.

"Who's your third player?" Tanaka snarled. It was meant to be menacing, but Daichi thought it looked ridiculous.

Bokuto glanced to the side of the gym and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey, Kenma-san!"

Daichi followed Bokuto's gaze which landed on the slouched figure of Kozume Kenma. His eyes were trained to the screen of his Nintendo DS, and he had headphones in. Daichi hadn't noticed him when they had walked in, but it was probably because he wasn't loud and obnoxious like his Boyfriend and Co.

Bokuto tried again, louder this time. "Kenma-saaaan! Come play with us!"

At this, the blond looked up and blinked when he realized that Daichi, Tanaka, and Nishinoya were there. Kenma closed his DS, took out his headphones, and started to make his way over to where Kuroo and Bokuto were.

"When did you all get here?" He asked in that quiet way of his as his eyes went over the three of them.

"A few minutes ago." Bokuto was clearly ready to go. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and his eyes were shining. Kenma sighed as he looked at his owlish friend and agreed to play a three on three match with the rest of them.

"Get ready to have your butt kicked, Sawamura," Kuroo taunted as he narrowed his eyes and smirked.

"Don't get too cocky!" Tanaka retorted, shoving his sleeves three quarters of the way up his arms. Nishinoya bounced from foot to foot, ready to receive the ball if it came his way.

"What Tanaka said," Daichi replied. "We'll crush you."

The six of them played for quite a while. After the first two sets, they forgot to keep score and were just playing for the heck of it. At the end of it all, Tanaka and Bokuto started to argue about which team had won. Daichi couldn't help but laugh at their stupid antics. They eventually called it a night and parted ways when they left the gymnasium.

When Daichi was walking home (the apartment complex was only a few blocks away), he pulled out his phone to see if he had any missed calls or unread messages. The screen lit up and a box on it indicated that he one unread message from Suga. He smiled as he read it.

To: Daichi  
From: Suga

Hey Daichi, hope you got home alright! Well, not home, but to your apartment. You know what I meant haha, well anyways, would you mind if I Skyped you later? :3c

Daichi looked at the time he had received the message. It had only been about fifteen or so minutes ago that he got it. He quickly tapped out a response and smiled as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

*****

"I just don't know what to do. I feel like if I do anything that he'll feel like I'm suffocating him."

Across from Suga sat Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, who were sitting next to each other, their shoulders touching. Tsukishima inclined his head the slightest bit, his lenses catching the light from overhead.

"So you're worried he's depressed." It wasn't so much of a question, as it was a statement. The blond's eyes darted to Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi placed his hand lightly over Tsukishima's on the latter's knee. Suga nodded.

"Well, if you're really worried about him, I'd suggest giving him just a little bit of space." Yamaguchi was speaking from experience. Tsukishima gave a short nod, curling his hand into a loose fist.

"If he really is depressed, and if he really is doing something that would harm him, I'm sure you'd be the first one he'd go to, from the sound of it," the brunet continued. His eyes looked to Tsukishima as the blond was "fidgeting". See, Tsukishima was the kind of person to hide his emotions behind his quiet little mask, but Suga had known him long enough to know that when he kept opening and closing his fists, that he was uncomfortable or angry or something else altogether.

"I guess you're right," Sugawara sighed and leaned back in his desk chair.

"He's either depressed, or head over heels for you," Tsukishima deadpanned just after Yamaguchi closed his hand over Tsukki's to keep him from fidgeting. The blond's golden eyes stared at Yamaguchi out of the corner of his eye and the two seemed to be having a silent conversation. Suga couldn't help but smile.

"You two are ridiculous," He chuckled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You're like an old married couple."

Yamaguchi smothered his laughter with his free hand as Tsukishima pointedly stared at the floor, his cheeks flushing.

"My parents keep telling us that," Yamaguchi managed to say after his fit of laughter. The brunet's eyes looked past Suga's head, and his eyes widened.

"Oh, is it really getting that late!?" He asked as he sprang to his feet. Suga blinked and looked at the clock behind him. The minute hand was close to twelve, and the hour hand was just over the seven. He turned back to the couple across from him.

Tsukishima slowly raised himself up from his seat, standing to the right and just behind his shorter boyfriend. Yamaguchi smiled apologetically.

"I told my parents we'd be home by seven for dinner." Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, he grabbed his coat from where he had been sitting. "It was nice seeing you again, Suga! Next time, we'll have to invite Hinata and Kageyama, too. Good night!"

Tsukishima muttered a polite good night to the ash blond, and the couple was gone.

Suga sighed and spun around in his chair, facing his laptop. Out of the corner of his eye, his phone sat at the edge of his desk. He picked it up, unlocked it, and clicked on the message string labeled "Daichi". He swallowed hard as he stared at the keyboard.

Maybe he was doing homework, or maybe he was out with his friends. Suga was worried he was bothering him too much. Finally, he closed his eyes, exhaled through his nose, and typed out a message to Daichi.

After it sent, he contemplated throwing his phone across the room. Suga was regretting it now, but it was too late. Instead, he put it in the corner of his desk, and opened his Language Arts paper on his laptop.

The ash blond had totally forgotten about sending Daichi a message until about twenty minutes later, when his phone vibrated. He (although he hated to admit) jumped at the sound and pressed a hand to his chest, as if to calm his beating heart. Suga picked up his phone and read the message from Daichi.

To: Suga  
From: Daichi

I should've texted you when I got back, but Tanaka and Noya decided to drag me into a game of volleyball. But sure, give me another ten minutes or so, and I'll Skype you!

Suga closed his eyes and lowered his head, started to giggle like a little school girl. That dork.

He replied, giving Daichi an okay, and tried to (keyword: tried) work on his language arts paper, but couldn't get more than a word or two down before saving and closing out of it. Suga opened up the Skype application, and awaited Daichi's call.

Suddenly, ringing came from his laptop, and Suga had to restrain himself from squealing with excitement. It's just Daichi, he reminded himself. He clicked the "answer button" and waited for the screen to load.

"Hey, Suga," Daichi greeted the ash blond and he gave a small wave. He was wearing a large black hoodie, and Suga wasn't too sure he was wearing a shirt under it, because he could see parts of his shoulder and chest. He was also sporting thick black frames that sat on the bridge of his nose.

"You wear glasses?" Suga blurted out without saying a greeting. He quickly bit his lower. Shit, why did he do that?

"What? Oh yeah." Daichi smiled sheepishly, pushing the bridge of his glasses up. "You've never seen me with my glasses, huh? I always wear contacts to class, I don't really like wearing them out. They make me look dorky."

Suga smiled and brought his hand to his face, simultaneously hiding his stupid smile and the blush on his cheeks. "Well, I think they make you look even smarter." He wanted to say "I think they make you look even more attractive", however, he didn't want to embarrass himself for possibly the rest of his life.

"Well, you'd be the first to say so." Daichi smiled, and then rolled his eyes. "Other than my mom, of course."

Suga started to laugh, and pulled his feet up under him. The two of them engaged in conversation, taking about their paper for language arts. Suga made sure to steer clear of the topic of Daichi's family, as he knew that was touchy.

As their conversation went on, about school and work and other things, Daichi's smile began to fade. He leaned his face in his hand and played with what might've been a pen in his free hand, but it was out of range of the camera. It was starting to get pretty late, and neither of them were talking at the moment.

Suga took this as his chance. "Hey, Daichi?"

The brunet on the other side of the scream hummed in response, and he eyes something off camera.

"If anything's bothering you," He started, softly. "You can tell me, you know that, right?"

Daichi looked up at him over the rim of his frames. His stopped playing with his pen, or whatever it had been, and blinked a few times at Suga. "Yeah," He replied, just barely above a whisper. "You'd be the first to know."

Suga couldn't help but blush, and he looked down at his lap, avoiding eye contact with Daichi. "But hey, I'm alright. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Oh, I was just putting it out there." Well, it wasn't exactly a lie. He just wanted to see if anything was bothering him at all. And he also just wanted to let him know that Suga was right behind him.

Suga looked at the time in the corner of his screen, and let out a little squeal of surprise. Daichi quirked an eyebrow at him, the corner of his lips upturning the slightest bit. "What was that?"

"I'm sorry, I just hadn't realized how late it was," Suga said, yawning at the end. He covered his mouth with his hand and blinked in rapid succession to rid his eyes of sleep.

"Well, if you're tired, I don't wanna keep you up." Daichi, too, yawned and took his glasses off. "Goodnight, Suga."

"'Night, Daichi."

Suga clicked "end call" and stared at his blank screen before shutting down his laptop. He left his hand there for a moment as he exhaled deeply out of mouth. Maybe Daichi was alright after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi hates himself. What else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOW I'M REALLY SORRY GUYS. Last time this was updated was August of last year, and plus, this chapter is really short. I just wanted to get this out to you guys, because I really am sorry. School is stressing me out beyond anything else, and I rarely have any free time anymore. I'm trying my best to keep up with writing and stuff, but sometimes it doesn't work out. 
> 
> Hopefully the next update will be longer and faster to get out! Enjoy!

Suga didn't mind being back in class, but he absolutely dreaded his class on Monday morning after he returned to campus.

It sucked getting up so early after a week of sleeping in.

However, Suga managed to get himself to class on time that Monday morning, taking his regular seat in language arts. Surprisingly, when he looked across the row, Daichi wasn't in his usual seat. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen. Suga clenched and unclenched his fists in an anxious manner.

 _There isn't anything to worry about_ , he kept telling himself. _Stop worrying, he's fine._

Class began as normal. Suga found that he kept glancing up, just in case Daichi magically appeared in his usual seat. However, he did his best to keep up with the note taking.

After class, Suga gathered his belongings and made his way out the door. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He assumed that it was his boss texting him his work schedule for the week, but instead it was Daichi.Suga's eyebrows shot up. He unlocked his phone and proceeded to read the text.

**From: Daichi**

_Not feeling too hot today. Would you mind swinging by my place later to lend me the notes? Would really appreciate it_

Suga tapped out a quick reply, agreeing to visit Daichi after classes were over. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and continued to make his way to his next class.

* * *

Daichi sat curled up on his couch. The TV was on but he wasn't really watching it. His arms hurt from the game of volleyball he had joined in the other day, and he wasn't in any mood to go to class.

His backpack sat a few feet away from him on the floor. It was full of assignments that he had yet to do. Daichi kept telling himself to get his shit together and to get his stuff done, but that was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do.

Daichi was also supposed to work later that afternoon, but he called in sick. Ukai, his boss, didn't really seem to believe him, but he told him "to get better and soon, or else".

There was suddenly a soft knock at the door. Daichi's heart fluttered in his chest. He rose to his feet and made his way to the door. Upon opening it, Daichi was greeted by Suga's warm gaze and bright smile. He bit his lip and shuffled aside so that Suga could walk through the doorway.

"Do you have a cold or something?" Suga asked as he gently set down his notebooks and folders on the coffee table in front of Daichi's TV.

"Uh, no," Daichi replied, clearing his throat. "It was more of a mental health day today."

The ash blonde froze for a moment, his hazel eyes flickering to Daichi. Suga looked at him for a moment, but didn't interrogate further. He waved Daichi over.

"You didn't really miss a whole lot in language arts today," Suga changed the topic of the conversation. "Today's lesson was pretty boring, actually."

"When aren't they?" Daichi muttered as he tugged his own notebook out of his overstuffed backpack. He opened up to a clean page as Suga flipped to the page containing that day's notes. Before writing, Daichi tugged his sleeves down just in case they decided to ride up. In fact, he was kind of nervous to be with Suga because the prospect of having his scars being seen was nerve wracking.

The two of them made idle chit chat, because there really was nothing to talk about. However, Suga tread carefully as he asked, "How was your week off?"

"It was...it was alright," Daichi stammered. "My mom is doing pretty well."

Suga gently placed his hand on top of Daichi's. He looked up at the ash blond, but Suga was looking at the floor.

"Suga—?"

"Daichi, I keep telling you that I'm here," he said quietly, still without looking up. "I keep telling you that you can come to me. I’ve been…I’ve been worried about you." The ash blonde’s hand closed a bit tighter around his, but still didn’t look up. Daichi felt as if the dam in his chest would burst and all his emotions would flood within him. He didn’t want to tell Suga that he had a big, embarrassing crush on him. He didn’t want to tell Suga that he was destroying the image of himself. He didn’t want to tell Suga that he was falling apart.

“Are you completely sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me?” he asked, finally meeting Daichi’s gaze. The raven haired man’s eyes flitted from Suga, to his own arm, and then back again. He didn’t want to keep lying to him. But he also didn’t want to tell him the truth.

Daichi hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “Not that I can think of.”

“Alright then,” Suga sighed. Then he removed his hand from Daichi’s, as if just realizing it was there. “S-sorry.”

 _He’s going to resent you for it later on_ , the voice in the back of his mind nagged him. _He’s going to hate you when he finds out. He’s going to leave you behind._

 _Shut up_ , he told himself.

“When something comes up, I swear, you’ll be the first to know,” he mumbled. “It’s just been rough with what happened, so I mean…”

“I understand,” Suga replied quietly. “If space and mental health days are what you need, then they’re what you need. Listen, I have to get going because I’ve got work, but I’ll leave my notes here. Just give them back to me tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded as the ash blond rose up from the couch. “Have fun at work.”

Suga rolled his eyes playfully as he glanced at Daichi over his shoulder. “I’ll try.” And then, the door closed behind him.

Daichi sank into the couch and breathed out a long-winded sigh. He had to tell him eventually. He was going to find out eventually, as were his other friends. It was only a matter of time. But how long would it be until Daichi could muster up the courage and confess to harming himself? He didn’t know what to do.

He clapped his hands to his face and groaned. “He’s gonna hate me, he’s gonna hate me,” he chanted under his breath. “He probably already does…”

For a moment, his body went cold, and it felt as if his chest had become a void. Daichi looked down at his hands and slowly balled them into fists.

 _What’s your problem? Just tell him what’s going on_ , he told himself. _But he’ll hate you. He’ll be so angry with you. He doesn’t like you anyways. What if he’s just pretending? What if he laughs in your face when you confess to him? What if he runs away when you tell him you’ve been degrading yourself to almost nothing? And your friends; what are they going to do?_

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. Daichi firmly gripped the edge of the table in front of him in an effort to make himself stop shaking. It sort of worked. Tears started to blur his vision until he couldn’t see straight. Daichi turned around and buried his face in the fabric of the couch. He tore his fingers through his short raven hair and screamed.

Hot tears rolled down his face, onto his sleeves, onto the couch. He muttered things to himself, muttered things like “get a fucking hold of yourself” and “grow up”, but his degrading advice to himself wasn’t working to calm him down either. Daichi furiously wiped his arm across his eyes, gritted his teeth. He was acting like a child. He was acting like the brattiest child in the world. He was acting selfish. All he wanted was for everything to be right for once. All he wanted was his dad back. All he wanted was to admit to Sugawara Koushi that he had the most embarrassingly stupid crush on him in the history of the universe. All he wanted was for his mental state to not be thrown out the window.

All Sawamura Daichi wanted in his life, was to be alright.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF!!!!!!!!! Finally. Enjoy yourselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I know it's been like an eternity since I last updated, so hopefully this makes up for the time I've been away. It's kinda shorter than what I wanted it to be, but i hope it suffices!
> 
> Also I've been working on some other HQ!! AUs that i hope to post soon!!

Daichi was in class today.

Suga was honestly surprised when he walked through the door that morning. Nobody else seemed to notice (or care for that matter) when Daichi sat down in his usual seat. The raven haired man looked across the row at Suga, and he smiled and waved at him. Daichi managed half a smile. Suga watched his face as his eyebrows shot up, almost as if he had a realization. Daichi held up his index finger as if to say "wait a second", and dug around in his backpack. He pulled out Suga's notebook and got up to walk it over to him.

"Sorry," he said quietly, handing the spiral notebook to Suga. "Almost forgot I had it."

Suga waved in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. You copied all the notes, right?"

He nodded and tugged at the ends of the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "Yeah, it took a little while, but I managed to get them down in one sitting. Thanks, by the way."

"No problem." Suga smiled again. Daichi gave him another half-hearted smile and returned to his seat.

Class started off normally. Sugawara didn't really want to admit it, but he kept looking over at Daichi a little more than just a few times over the span of the class. He couldn't help himself; he was just happy to see that he was back in class. More than once, he made accidental awkward eye contact with Daichi and quickly looked forward after a moment.

He noticed that throughout the class, Daichi fidgeted often. He kept tugging at the ends of his sleeves and tapping his pen against his desk and bouncing his leg. But only once throughout the class did Daichi roll back his sleeves, if only a little bit.

But that was all Sugawara needed to see that there were pink and red marks on the insides of his wrist, clear as day against Daichi's paling skin.

It was like everything around him froze. Suga could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and his blood ran cold. 

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

It all made sense now; the isolation, not coming to class, his attitude, his solemnness, and his violent change in mood; it all added up.

Suga looked forward when Daichi rolled up his sleeves again. Questions bounced around the inside of his skull; why wouldn't he have told him? Especially after all those opportunities? Did Daichi not trust him? Was he only pretending to be sincere when Daichi had assured him he'd be the first to know if anything was up?

He tried to push the questions to the back of his mind for now, but they couldn't be completely silenced. Suga's throat felt tight, as if he were about to cry. Hit bit his lower lip to keep himself from doing so, and he tried to calm himself down.

After about another hour or so, class had ended. Suga packed up his belongings in record time and made his way across the row to stand in front of Daichi. The raven haired man looked up at him, seemingly unaware of the predicament he had caused the ash blond.

"I-I'd like to talk to you after classes are over later," Suga managed. He wrenched his hands around the strap of his messenger bag. "Meet me outside the apartment building?"

Daichi pursed his lips ever so slightly and furrowed his brow. Other than that, he didn't look fazed. "Yeah, alright," Daichi replied softly.

* * *

 

It felt like butterflies were trying to eat the insides of Daichi's stomach. A cold breeze blew in his face, and he shivered. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

 When Sugawara had asked to speak with him, a nervous flutter had erupted within his chest; what was it that come up so suddenly? Was he transferring? Was something wrong?

Daichi neared the apartment building. He caught sight of Suga's slender figure leaning up against the brick wall, just outside the entrance. The ash blond was clad in a long black button-up coat and a pale blue scarf. Daichi's heartbeat spiked as he walked in his direction. His hands fidgeted in his pockets.

He slowed to a stop in front of Suga. He looked up at Daichi; something about the look in his hazel eyes set Daichi off. It was hard to read his face.

"Hey," Daichi said to break the silence. The wind started to pick up around them. "Something you wanted to talk about?"

Without saying a word, Suga held out his hand. Daichi looked at him for a moment and gingerly took his hand out of his pocket and placed it in Suga's. Gently, the ash blond turned his arm over. Without breaking eye contact, Suga pushed back Daichi's sleeve. It happened too fast for him to process what was going on.

Daichi's arm stung from the sudden coldness, and realized that his scars were visible.

His eyes widened as he watched Sugawara's face go from stoic to pure anguish in a matter of seconds. His hands were shaking as was his entire body. His hazel eyes darted to the ground.

"Why?" came Suga's voice, cracked and just barely audible over the sound of the wind.

Daichi came to his senses. "H-how did you—"

"When you rolled back your sleeves in language arts," he stated, his voice shaking. Suga let go of his hand and clenched his fists at his sides. He squared up his shoulders and bowed his head. "Why wouldn't you...why would you keep this from me?"

Daichi clenched his fists and bit his lip. "I—"

Suga suddenly straightened up and firmly clamped the lapels of Daichi’s jacket, pulling him slightly closer. His breathing was coming in short gasps. Tears were streaming down his pale face. "Why would you keep something like this from me? From your friends? There were so many times you could've told me. I just don't understand...do you not trust me? I-is that what it is?"

"No," Daichi whispered, shaking his head. He placed his hands over Suga's. "No, no, no, that's like the complete opposite of it. I..."

He trailed off. Suga looked up at him, tears still running down his face. Daichi stared straight into his eyes. His hands started to shake.

"It's because I—" Daichi stopped himself for a moment. "It's because I was so afraid of you finding out and leaving me. I felt that if I told you...if I told you what I was doing, that you would reject me and let me deal with it myself; I thought that maybe I was a burden to you—"

"Are you _insane_?" Suga's voice went up in volume, gripping Daichi’s jacket tighter in his fists. "Are you truly _insane_? I don't...I would _never_ consider you a burden, Daichi. In fact, I think you're the complete opposite of a burden. Do you know how much I was worried about you? You occupy my every thought. I was so worried that I wouldn't shut up about you to my friends; I went to them for advice to see what I should do...Don't you ever call yourself a burden ever again, Sawamura Daichi, don't you dare."

"Suga—"

Suga continued to sob, leaning his face forward so that his forehead rested on Daichi’s chest. "What in the world could ever make you think something like that? Something like me not liking you? That's ridiculous, as it is that I'm so god damn in love with you."

The two froze. Sugawara removed his hands from Daichi's jacket, clamped them over his mouth, and backpedaled until his back was against the wall. Suga’s hazel eyes glistened with fresh tears.

Daichi stared at him, wide eyed. A chill ran down his spine, and he felt heat rush to his face.

 _That's ridiculous, as it is that I'm so god damn in love with you_.

Daichi continued to stare at the ash blond in front of him. Sugawara Koushi—gentle, kind Sugawara Koushi—was losing his composure before his very eyes. Suga’s hands lingered by his lips as he processed what had just happened. He balled up his fists and held them at his sides. He started to panic.

“Oh my god, I-I didn’t mean to—oh my god, what did I just—” Suga started to incoherently ramble.

A laugh bubbled up in Daichi’s chest. It rose in a crescendo, and suddenly he realized he was crying. Daichi cradled his face into his hands and laughed some more, tears rolling down his cheeks. Suga probably thought him insane.

Daichi stood up straight again, furiously wiping at his eyes. He composed himself and looked Suga in the eyes. “Here I thought…this whole time I thought that you wouldn’t even _dream_ of wasting your time on me. I can’t believe how stupid I was…I just—”

Suga silenced him, his lips pressed gently against Daichi’s. Daichi’s breath caught in his throat for a moment and felt his cheeks flare up. The ash blond pulled away after another moment, but Daichi didn’t let him get far.

He grabbed Suga by the collar and brought the other hand up to rest against the back of Suga’s head. The ash blond slowly brought his arms around Daichi’s neck, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. Suga rose up on his toes, his fingers carding through Daichi’s hair. A groan bubbled up in Daichi’s throat.

The two of them broke apart but remained in each other’s embrace, foreheads leaning together. Daichi grinned like an idiot. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that.”

“You dork,” Suga giggled and pecked him on the lips again. He rested his head on Daichi’s shoulder, and the two of them stayed in their embrace like that for a while.

And Daichi smiled to himself; things were starting to look up.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on tumblr at xelaricthenobody! Please, feel free to follow me or message me if you have any questions about this fic :)


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